Grandma’s House

Everything
Must Go

She kept it all for fifty years. She is in the next room, and she can hear you.

Play

Runs in the browser. Nothing to download, nothing to sign up for.

A 1960s parlor in late afternoon light, sun shafts falling across a white sofa and armchair, patterned wallpaper, a cat visible through the doorway.
The parlor, before. Note the cat in the doorway. He will not be helping.

A few things about the house

Everything breaks.

More than four hundred things in here have a name and an insurance value, and all of them come apart. Glass throws curved shards, porcelain throws chunks, a cushion throws a blizzard of feathers, plaster throws white dust you have to walk back out of. So do the walls. Put a hole through one and you will find the studs, the cavity, and the bedroom on the other side.

She knows what you broke.

Grandma is home, and she names it. “My teeth were in there.” “The cookie jar? There were cookies in there.” She works from confused through furious, and somewhere past the china cabinet she stops shouting and tells you she dusted that every Saturday for fifty years. Eventually she offers to fix you a plate if you will stop.

The cats do not care.

Mr. Biscuits, Sugar and Tallulah cannot be harmed, will not move for you, and are unimpressed by the shotgun. They also knock her Hummels off the shelf on their own schedule, which still goes on the claim.

Nothing here was downloaded.

Every texture is drawn onto a canvas the moment the page loads and every sound is built out of oscillators. There is not one image file, audio file or downloaded model in the game. The wallpaper is arithmetic.

The same parlor mid-destruction: the sofa split open with feathers hanging in the air and glass shards falling.
The davenport, mid-opinion. Feathers are their own material.
Three cats — black, grey and ginger — standing on a bedroom floor looking directly at the camera.
Mr. Biscuits, Sugar and Tallulah. Invulnerable, and aware of it.

Controls

Keyboard and mouse

W A S D
walk
Mouse
look
Click
swing or shoot
Q or 1…9
change weapon
E
pick up anything at all
Right-click
swing what you are carrying — it may not survive

Phone and tablet

Left side
drag to walk
Right side
drag to look
Tap
swing or shoot
Hold
pick up, or take a tool off the wall
Weapon
tap its name, bottom left
Sideways
she keeps a wide house — turn the phone

There is a skillet, a poker and a sledgehammer in this house. Find them.

Play